Since 2013 is coming to a close (I know right? Went by quick) for the next several weeks I will be doing lists on the worst of 2013. Why the worst? Well because it’s more fun to bash shit than actually praising it. It is actually more fun doing lists of the worst of certain stuff than it is doing the best because you can add some comedy into it. So for the first of many worst of 2013 lists, I will run down the list of the top five worst songs of the year 2013.
It was not as bad as last year but we still got fed some pretty awful shit. Before I start though, I want to address a few things. Robin Thicke will not be on this list t nor will that latest Kanye West song. People hate it because of how it is presented. I actually like both. And for those of you that think Blurred lines is about rape, well your looking into way too much into it.
Alright let’s do this:
5. Taylor Swift – 22:
Kanye can you bump in and interrupt this bitch more often. Good lord another Taylor Swift songs where she whines and bitches about her 249th break up. Yet this one manages to sound even more fucking stupid. I can not speak for twenty two year olds since I am two years away from that, but I am willing to bet my guitars that twenty two year olds do not dress like hipsters because by then they will have self-respect. Matter of fact the things she sung about are the things a fucking thirteen year old will do. You know fall in love with anyone in sight and dress up like idiots. The usual teenage bullshit. She continues to show that she is fucked up mentally with the lyric “We’re happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time.” Seriously first she is unstable with relationships, now she sounds unstable in the head. Ok a youtber already did an open letter to her parents, but I want to do one for her.
Dear Taylor Swift,
GROW THE FUCK UP AND PLEASE SEE A PSYCHIATRIST! NO ONE CAN HAVE AN OUNCE OF SYMPATHY FOR YOU BECAUSE FIRST OF ALL YOU ARE PRETTY HOT, SECOND YOU HAVE BEEN WRITING THE SAME MATERIAL SINCE 2008 AND THIRDLY THAT ACT IS GETTING OLD BECAUSE YOUR GETTING FUCKING OLD!!! SERIOUSLY TAYLOR, IT IS 2013! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WE ARE APPROACHING 2014! YOU ARE TWENTY-FOUR! YOU JUST TURNED TWENTY-FOUR TWO OR THREE DAYS AGO! (This article was published a couple of days after her birthday, so if you think I’m idiot for saying that it was two or three days ago, even though it CLEARLY SAYS THIS WAS PUBLISHED ON DEC 15 2013 AND YOU READ THIS A MONTH LATER… well your illiterate) MOVE ON, GROW THE FUCK UP AND PLEASE TRY TO KEEP A RELATIONSHIP FOR MORE THAN 3 OR 4 MONTHS!! If Miley Cyrus can do it, if Rihanna can do it and for the love of god if I can do it, surely you can.
Sincerely,
A guy who wants you to shut the fuck up and move with your somewhat tragic life.
I swear, If she still writes about her teenage bullshit at the age of twenty four, expect me to bash it because enough is enough
4. Bubble Butt – Major Lazer featuring a whole bunch of people I can not be fucked naming right now:
Hey a song about huge asses! I haven’t heard that before in my life! What makes this shit you ask? Well… IT.. IS… REPETIVIVE…. AS… FUCK!! I swear bubble butt is said about I think 2432 times in this one song that lasts for about 3 or 4 minutes. But it feels like forever when all you can remember from this song is just some black dude saying bubble butt! Seriously people actually waste money on this shit? Do not get me wrong, I am a guy that appreciates large asses, I just hate hearing about 2432 fucking times. Good job Lazer! Retarded morons are pissing away money on this shit. Matter of fact a gold medal to all of the artists on this list that were able to get morons to piss away money on your shit. They could of spent it on something better, like food, clothes or actual good music but NO! There are morons out there that would pay 20 bucks for this. Well fucking done!
3. Started from the bottom – Drake:
YAY MORE REPETITIVE BULLSHIT!! How the fuck did you start from the bottom? You were on fucking TV when you were 15 and you have the temerity to say that you started from the bottom 3253243143 fucking times! I WOULD LOVE TO BE ON TV!! LET ALONE AT 15! People at the age of 15 start off at McDonalds and I for one did not have a fucking job because I refused to work at fast food joints. And you actually have the balls to say that you started from the bottom! It is cool that you were young, had dreams, you have achieved them (somehow even though rap music’s credibility and self-respect is dying ) and now you feel like your top. Fantastic, well fucking done. But to say you started from the bottom over and over and over and over and over and over…. Again! Fuck you Drake! By the way after you say… that, you precede to say “now we here!” WHERE THE FUCK IS HERE?!?! Space? A woman’s pussy? A mansion? McDonalds? Youtube? Oh by the way, it was bad enough you introduced YOLO to the idiotic masses that want to justify them being retarded and doing retarded shit, and now you give us that. FUCK… YOU.. DRAKE!
2. I love it – Icona Pop:
Ladies and Gentlemen, the personification of dumb, crazy bitches. Seriously people waste money on this crap. This is pretty much the theme to this list, MORE REPETITIVE CRAP! This one is just stupid beyond belief. So you love crashing into a bridge and going crazy on your ex-boyfriend’s shit? You don’t care and you love being and moronic, clinically crazy bitch! Lovely! My god who writes this stuff. Whoever did write this needs to have their ass fired immediately. So the masses that still do appreciate good music can live peacefully.
And now, the number one worst song of 2013…. The Fox by Ylvis.
This is how I feel everytime this song comes up:
Not only that I feel like I am the only, ONLY human being on earth that hates this song.
FUCK…. ME… SENSELESS!! To the I die, I will never… EVER! IN MY WHOLE DAMN LIFE! Understand…. why people… think this is… well… good!
Yes this an Internet sensation, yes they are not professionals and yes they pretty much intended for it to be fucking retarded. But I can not help it, I hate this song with a passion. I do not even care if this list is no longer legitimate because something from the Internet is here. I don’t even give a single fuck if this is even considered a “serious” song, a piece of music or anything for that matter. If they intended for it to be terrible well then good job! Way to unleash this piece of trash to the idiotic masses! Oh my god this, song is so fucking bad that it makes my ears bleed. It is so bad I would rather listen to Friday than this idiotic, annoying, painful, dreadful, horrible, unfunny and illiterate piece of shit! How people actually like this or even laugh boggles my mind. WHAT THE FUCK IS SO FUNNY ABOUT A GROWN MAN MAKING RETARDED ANIMAL NOISES! Seriously what is so funny about watching a grown man in a fox costume make noises that not even monkey’s would understand. I feel stupid after listening to this. It feels like a part of brain got picked out after listening to this.
It is like they gather a bunch of kindergarteners and were like “Ok kiddies! We want you to write a song for us! If yours is the best… then we will make millions out of it!! Not only that easily amused people will laugh their butts off!” They all cheered and then one kid came out with that crap. Either that or they just smoked some amazing weed. Which led to this abomination.The weed there must be strong. I will give Ylvis this, they showed how easily amused people can really get. I am sorry, but if you actually find this remotely funny, matter of fact if it makes you smile, if you listen to this without doing a single facepalm, I do not know what to say. The lonely island makes funny songs that make sense. Not only does this not make a single ounce of sense, IT WAS IN ENGLISH AND IT STILL DIDN’T MAKE ANY SENSE! People hate on PSY’s songs for not making sesne, well of course because IT IS IN KOREAN YOU IDIOTS! MATTER OF FACT THE CHORUS WAS IN… I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT WAS! And most importantly… THIS SONG IS NOT FUNNY!!. It is just absolutely stupid beyond belief. A little baby can write a better song than this. And yeah your probably thinking it was meant to be that way, WELL IF YOUR GOING TO DO IT AT LEAST BE FUNNY!! And this was the most unfunny thing you will ever see and find. It’s actually sad that for one he actually worked hard on it and two people actually do find not only funny but catchy!
And no… I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE MOTHERFUCKING FOX SAID!! WHAT DID HE SAY ANYWAY?!?! DID YOU CLARIFY THAT AT ALL?!?! FUCK OFF AND DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE! SOMETHING THAT DOES NOT MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE A WORTHLESS IDIOT AND SOMETHING THAT WILL NOT MAKE PEOPLE’S EARS BLEED OR QUESTION THEIR OWN INTELLIGENCE AND THE INTELLIGENCE OF THE ENTIRE PLANET!
If you people want comedy and music, listen to some lonely island, find some sketch in SNL or MADtv. Not only was this horrible beyond words I can even come up with to describe how stupid and vile it is, it fails to even be funny. I wish it did fail. But that just shows how easily amused people get these days. Oh yeah by the way, in the music video… WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT OLD MAN DOING WITH THE KID?!?! READING HIM A “BEDTIME” STORY BEFORE HE GETS MOLESTED?!?! So not only is the song shit and not funny, but it is promoting child molestation! (maybe I’m thinking about it way too much.)
To conclude my very lengthy rant on how idiotic this song is and how people are so easily amused now these days, this song failed in every single level. This song was not funny, good or catchy. Amazing what is considered catchy these days. And again, when I look back at this two years from now. I will still question why people with decency, functional ears and self-respect laughed or even consider this song as a good song or even a song for that matter.
And that is my list. I know a youtube song is number one but god I can not help it. I hate that talking abortion so fucking much.
Honorable mentions:
• Gas pedal – Ringtone sounding bullshit.
• Best song ever – Stealing a melody from another famous band are we now!?!? No One direction, just no. I will give you this; story of my life is awesome.
• 23 – A Chicago Bulls ad that involves drugs, alcohol and a dumb bitch. MODERN HIP HOP MUSIC!
How people waste money on this crap is beyond me.
Real talk 